“The hockey gods are smiling so wide you can count their missing teeth.”

Quotes is a pretty cool new feature over at Google News.  Here’s Doc.

While we are on the topic of hockey news, seems a bit odd that the Tehran Times picked up this article from my hometown Port Huron Times Herald.  Either the Stanley Cup Final’s local connection to Port Huron, Michigan is a bigger story than I would think, or it was an extremely slow news day in Tehran.

For any of you Detroiters who have spent an evening at The Joe, you know his voice if you don’t know is name — 90-year old PA announcer Budd Lynch.  Check out this profile of him on Doc’s Classic NHL podcast.

Once you’ve finished that one, make sure to check out this profile of Ron Hextall — the man who’s jersey was proudly worn on my back for most of my youth.  Got to meet him once in the bowels of Joe Louis Arena.

 

And you thought that was Manhattan.  Here is a dude who built his own paradise island using 250,000 recycled bottles.  So long as you’ve drank the Faygo first, they float.  Located off the coast of Mexico, Spiral Island supported a two story house, a solar oven, self-composting toilet and three beaches.  Good luck getting State Farm to issue you hurricane insurance on something like this — Hurricane Emily had her way with the island in 2005.  Undeterred, it’s creator is now rebuilding.

Take a gander at this pimp Sultan.  Suleiman the Magnificient ruled the Ottoman empire from 1520-1526.  He also knew that a headdress is no joke.

This is the garlic press I’m using now. Picked it up in one of those overpriced gourmet shops, but she’s worth every penny. Now, of course, Bourdain will tell you one should never be using a garlic press. Respect and honor your garlic and never subject it to anything more traumatic than a light tap to make peeling easy. Fair enough, but sometimes you’ve got to cut some corners. And for those times, you’ll need the Messermeister. I can fit three garlic cloves in here and she plows through them with minimal manpower.

 

For those of you who do not watch CBS Sunday Morning every week, 1) you should, 2) you missed this today:

This is a real college mascot.  Poor Scottsdale Community College.

Bill Geist comes through with some gems.  If you like these, you should check out this.  Props to Big Matt for hooking me up for a copy last Christmas.

 

Here’s some shots from Astoria while making a walk up to King Penny on Ditmars Blvd. last Sunday for a replacement espresso cup (broke one in the sink).

 

You old timers like me will remember the original Nintendo. For me, anything Nintendo means Easter because I had one that was kept at my Aunt & Uncle’s house in New Jersey — which we visited every Easter. It was a week of all-you-can eat chocolate eggs and Nintendo until your trigger thumb was blistered — now that’s what I call a vacation.

 

Anyway, here’s a recipe for making 1UP cakes. Now we know why Mario and Luigi were so intent on chasing these down. (Thanks to MacKenzie for the heads up. Or heads 1UP, I suppose.)

Exhausted all the dinner ideas Rachel Ray’s 30 Minute Meals as to offer? Perhaps you should look up… several hundred miles up. I don’t know if I’m alone in wondering what Alaskan Eskimos had for dinner around 1952, but this seems like a topic worth exploring. Not surprisingly, blubber and bear were a big part of the diet. Seal oil seems to go with anything, serving as the olive oil of the frozen north. Here are a few dishes to try, though Whole Foods may not be able to deliver on all of the ingredients.

Salted Ducks (sounds like this makes a ton, you’ll be eating these bad boys for a while) — Remove the feathers and clean the ducks. Put a layer of ducks on bottom of barrel, cover with rock salt, then more ducks and more rock salt, until barrel is filled and packed tightly. Use in winter time. Take as many ducks as needed, rinse off salt, let soak in water, changing the water until the ducks lose the salty taste.

Bear Feet (Ee-tee-yait’) (Unfortunately, there are no instructions for removing the feet from the bear. I’ll just say ‘use caution.’) — Most of the people like the bear feet better than the meat. We cook them well, add salt. Four feet would take about one teaspoon salt. Take them out of the pot and let them get cool. Eat them with seal oil

Oogruk Flippers (seal) - Cut the flippers off from the oogruk. Put the flippers on the seal in fresh blubber. Let them stay there for about 2 weeks. Take the loose fur off the flipper. Then cut them in small pieces and eat the meat. (To summarize, this is flippers marinated in blubber for 2 weeks. Sounds like your basic Eskimo guilty pleasure).

Eskimo Ice Cream - Grate reindeer tallow into small pieces. Add seal oil slowly while beating with hand. After some seal oil has been used, add a little water while whipping. Continue adding seal oil and water until white and fluffy. Any berries may be added to it. (What, no blubber?).

You can find more of these at a site appropriately named Inuit Activities.

 

Your search is over, here is a recipe for Tic Tac Pie:

• 1 graham cracker pie crust
• 2 8 ounce packages of cream cheese - softened
• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 1/2 teaspoon grated lemon peel
• 4 boxes of orange TicTac™ candies

It’s rare that I’ll offer up a shoutout to Michigan State University, but they certainly came through with this collection of recipes ca. 1798 through 1912. The Delicate Indian Pudding recipe from The Women Suffrage Cookbook of 1886 looks fairly intriguing.

While we’re delving into the depths of food history, make sure to check out these Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. You are sure to vomit these up immediately, initiating the intended weight loss, I suppose. Highlights include the jellied Bean & Mushroom Salad, Fish Balls, Chilled Celery Log (this makes me want to give up food altogether), Mexican Shrimp-Orange Salad (I know I’m about to sit down to a plate of orange slices and shrimp), and Onion Sauce (which certainly appears to have come along with the fish when it was unwilling extracted from the East River). I must also ask you to notice the props in these photos.